This is a response to Kelsey’s free entry about her “Taco
Tuesday”. Click here for the link In general you did a great job turning it into a story rather than
just a simple journal entry. Also I enjoyed the way you worked the song into
the story, the repetition of the same verse was a good way of showing annoyance
rather than just saying, “the song was annoying”. In order to make this story
better, maybe you should include more on what the annoyed listeners are doing
and their feelings on the matter. For example at the very end of the piece when
there is finally silence how is Maggie feeling about this moment. Is she ecstatic
or just waiting for the next round of the song? Also you could extend the story
by giving the girl playing the song a deeper character. This would be a good
way to use the calisthenics exercises we did in class.
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