This is in response to Taylor’s calisthenic. I really enjoy the language you used in this piece especially the line “the depression they sink into, like butter into batter”. Also the way you used the same type of descriptions but gave them different connotations in each part was a good use of language as well. Overall I enjoy how the piece starts off seemingly happy but then slowly sinks into a deeper meaning that shows the reversal. My only suggestion is to try making the moment that gives your character these feelings less direct. The story depicted is good however I feel the text would have more strength if the memory was indirectly related to cupcakes.
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